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Vanity and Perversion
Neuroqueer manifestos #1: Perversion Post-colonial societies tend to view perversion as a symptom of an internal malfunctioning - a disorder. This is why until the 70's, anyone who wasn't cisheterosexual was branded as a deviant in a movement that took up steam after Hitler expunged Jewish sexologist Magnus Hirschfeld from Germany. This facist ideology pervaded the core conservative hive mind for the rest of the 20th century, culminating in 2001 as the reactionary phase of neo-aggressive capitalism, now able to strategize around public opinion to coalesce a national mandate for their own agenda. It failed in Nazism, but in North America it profited on the post-war economic boom, and a generation of new immigrants flourished, with the USA becoming known as the 'land of opportunity'. But not for perverts. Perverts were expected to exist as silently as possiblem neither seen nor heard, Vain Perverts Most perverts become socially reclusive. However, there is a particular class of sub-pervert who actually derives perverse pleasure from social situations, despite the inherent animosity society appears to treat said pervert with. This persistent rejection of societal reality relies on the pervert perverted person (pp) being dissociatively disidentified from social personhood - a 'non-person' Being a non-person means you're not allowed to develop within the logic of the society without abstaining from the 'perversions' that define your identity, your queerness. Instead of being able to externalise our queerness we are forced to internalise it. We can't be proud of our queer behaviours, so instead we become proud of our queer thoughts... Neuroqueer, neurodivergent, a neurological enigma with no known analogy The vain pervert. The weird kid. The flirtacious femme. The flamboyant f-g. We make perversion look like heaven, and it is, because that too is sacred. Nothing is Peverse The original perversion is vanity. Adam and Eve Happy for eternity But hoodwinked into consuming the forbidden knowledge that they were 'naked' The original sin was never that they ate of the tree But rather that they deemed nakedness to be sinful All-loving God How can an all-loving God co-exist with a universe full of suffering? Only if Xe's not omni-potent. Or else if Xe is all-loving, then surely Xe would use Xer power to intervene and end that suffering. Free Will The converse case however can co-exist with an omni-potent God, so long as one assumes that God is not omni-conscious. Omniconsciousness is the state of actualized Godhood (the 'Brahman' in Vedic philosophy). Free will is the violation of omniconsciousness Free will implies that your future decisions are not completely predetermined by your past experiences Omniconscious states are pure states in terms of information, but to conditionally partition a sub-state on a basis of past experiences introduces mulitiple layers of informational uncertainty: entropy Free will is the assumption of chaotic entropy lying at the core of consciousness, the idea that the underlying neurochemistry that we experience as conscious sesations (sounds, sights, tastes etc) and our cognitive and cellular reactions (thoughts and feelings) are complex enough that the state of your mind is more than just an equation based on initial conditions at the moment you were conceived and up to your early years of life, that you were 'destined' to be exactly who you are today. God's forbidden gift The one gift God didn't trust us with, was self-knowledge Gave us 99% free will, freedom to explore the entire garden of Eden and eat of any tree, but one. Humans wanted freedom and we got it, but at the cost of viewing ourselves as in need of correction The origins of vanity Placing a leaf over their genitals is the iconic symbol of Adam and Eve today, largely influenced by Church censorship of art with very similar undertones of anti-sexuality. The true original sin was never the consumption of a 'forbidden fruit' - a coded clergical phrase used to terrify young churchgoers out of their own queerness The truth is that God knew that all queerness was natural. Monkeys do not judge dolphins for the way they love, dolphins don't judge fish for the way they live, fish don't have the mind to judge, and neither should we, but we taught ourselves to judge and persecute our own 'perversion'. The original sin was shame, not sickness Shame is the core sickness of all conscious reality, the sin of self-judgement Self-loathing Self-loathing is a form of vanity that grants vain perverts access to society. By continually demeaning oneself to the gatekeepers of neurotypical society, a vain pperson is able to ingratiate themselves as a non-hostile, complimentary and hospitable friend. While you never gain any meaningful access to their social community, you gain a sort of 'licence to exist' within that society, and over time learn to develop means to erase all of your undesirable social traits hidden from view. Examples |Let'sQueerThingsUp://MY BEAUTIFUL, BORDERLINE MIND> "This wasn’t the first time I was being held up as some kind of psychiatric achievement. Sometimes even my clinicians viewed me this way. “Most people with borderline aren’t like you,” a clinician told me recently. When I asked what that meant, he told me, “Most of them are just… flailing around, deeply unstable.” "And thus I was propped up as an ideal. I was the repentant borderline, the good borderline. The more I was perceived as distancing myself from the disorder, the more people applauded me." "This is because the borderline that the world likes the most is the “reformed” borderline — the one that will apologize for being too much, will cut themselves down to be accepted, be neurotic in “acceptable” and small doses, and most of all, disavow any and all traces of the disorder. In other words, the self-hating borderline is the one that the world loves the most." Category:Perversion Category:Narcissism Category:Psychology Category:Sexuality Neuroqueer